Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Is this my calling?

I can't sleep. I'm up and I am sad. I have been in a place for the last couple of months of being really unsure that I am in the profession that I was called to be in. In college, when I choose social work, I did so because I felt that it was the profession that would allow me to do what I was called to do. Now, I am not so sure. This is my second social work job and I am beginning to feel the way I did during the end of the last one. I don't feel like what I am doing is making an impact. That sounds egotistical I'm sure, but it isn't meant to. I'm not in this profession because I want applause or even really expect a thank you. But, I do hope that I can say that what I am doing is leaving people better off than they were before we started working together. Right now, I feel like I am juggling schedules, legalities, personality types, and the like without really improving the lives of the kids I serve. I spend all my time making sure the t's are crossed and the i's are dotted, until I have no quality time with the kids to impact them in a positive way. I am worried that at 25 I am already getting burned out in this field. Please, pray for me that God will direct my path and help me to determine what His will is for my professional development.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry that you are bummed about your job. I know in my heart that you must be great a great social worker. Unfortunately, kids aren't always the most grateful people. I am sure that you are making a huge impact on their lives and that they will appreciate what you have done for them when they get older. I love you!

Anonymous said...

This is my second attempt to leave a comment... Dumb me...
You do make a difference. Sometimes the answers to our prayers are "Wait". God will support you while you wait. You are an amazing support for your kids - a support they may not have anywhere else.
I love you and am proud of you.
Mom

Brad and Emily said...

Hey Girl-
Happy to get your post and to find out your grandparents-in-law (I don't think I've ever said that phrase..ha!) live in Pampa! That's a REALLY small world! Aren't y'all living in Katy? We miss that place! E-mail me at emilymckenzie@cox.net and I'll send you some restaurants, etc. to visit! Take care!