Confessions of a Brand New Mommy

Sorry for the delay! I am the third member of our family of 4 to catch the sick bug. I know you have been waiting for our big post where I share all the slip ups I made over the last 2 weeks. Well, here it is, but I am limiting myself to the 5 most interesting. There were countless more! Some of them are silly and some of them are not, but for the sake of being real....

1. I have 4 loads of clean laundry getting wrinkled as we speak on the couch and another one in the dryer. I chose to spend precious free time blogging instead of folding. Yes, our children are wearing clean clothes. As for me and Jeff, I plead the 5th!

2. I raised my voice and lost my patience with my boys more times than I care to admit this week

3. I bribe my kids nightly with a Popsicle if they eat all their dinner. Whatever, it works!

4. I gave my kid the night time formula of cough syrup at nap time so I could try to get some rest too. We are both sick, it is the best I can do!

5. I cried in the car pool line after being accosted by a school bus driver and a crossing guard for not adhering to the unspoken, but apparently rigid rules of car pool etiquette. No, I was not on my cell phone...at least I didn't make that mistake.

Boy am I grateful for God's grace and the unconditional love of my boys and hubby! Seriously, while drying my tears from blunder #5, this song came on the radio. Through listening to the words of, There's no Such Thing As Perfect People, God reminded me that I am nothing without Him. He continues to remind me daily to relay on Him because let's face it people...There's no such thing as Perfect Parents either!

Welcome home, A & J!

I have a lot to share and don't really know how to put into words the udder joy we have experienced since our precious boys came home 5 days ago!! Everyone that meets them is instantly charmed by their sweet, endearing, kind hearted spirits!! It also doesn't hurt that they both have the cutest little dimples! We are learning more about them each day and are prayerful that the transition will run as smoothly as possible. Please forgive me as I brag a bit more specifically about each boy!

* "A" is an energetic 6 year old that brightens every room with his giant smile and excitement!! A perfect example of his little personality occurred yesterday. He bounced into his classroom for the first time and got into mischief right away. His teacher thought she was going to have her hands full with him, but she quickly learned as we did, that A is eager to win praise from the important adults in his life and responds well to re-direction. He also is very affectionate and tells us he loves us several times a day, usually coupled with giant hugs and sometimes kisses too! He is very insightful as well, usually reading between the lines if we try to have an adult conversation around him. From the very first day, he has been inquiring about whether we will be his mommy and daddy forever. This and his frequent requests to see his sisters, make the unknown future so difficult to bear!! I want with all my heart to reassure him that he has a forever home with us, but we do not have the power to decide that and this fact is so troubling. No one wants to set their child up for heartache, but I am powerless to protect him from it! Though I can't imagine our lives without the boys now, I am an adult and am willing to risk having my heart ripped out but ultimately our child is asking if it is safe to bond with us and we have no way to reassure him!! Please keep sweet "A" and his tender heart in your prayers!

*"J" will be 4 next month. He and my mom share a birthday! He is shy at first, but quickly warms up and is also a very affectionate kiddo! J and A are always thankful and I treasure the sweet ways they express gratitude. Whether that's "thank you for dinner mommy" or the cheers and hugs when I make their bed they are always making sure I know they appreciate all I do for them. J is also very sensitive emotionally and makes sure to tell me "I'm mad" when he goes to time out. He also asked me yesterday if I was mad when I guess I was wearing my frustration and fatigue on my face. Because of their pleasing nature and emotional sensitivity, I'm reminded daily of my need to parent from a firm but emotionally balanced place. I could not have dreamed for kids that's hearts are so pure and sensitive and I am convicted to protect them with everything I have!!

Well, I will leave you with that and apologize in advance for the disappointment you will feel that you can't see their sweet faces, but of course you understand our practical need to protect our boys' identity. Thanks for respecting their privacy and we hope all of you will be able to meet them in person and experience some of the joy we have the honor of experiencing daily with our precious boys!

Stay tuned for "Confessions of a Brand new Mommy" coming in the next couple of days!

Tomorrow is THE day

Tonight Jeff and I spent our last evening as a family of 2! Tomorrow, our lives will change forever! I won't say much now, but we are blessed to be welcoming 2 brothers ages 4 and 6 years old into our hearts and our home!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Truth

WARNING - This is a long post.

It was 6 1/2 weeks ago that I wrote this entry to share the news that we were officially a waiting family. I know I haven't shared much since then about the matching process we are going through and to be honest I didn't know how much I wanted to share. It has been gut wrenching and a compete emotional roller coaster! I have decided though that I need to be transparent and as scared as I am to be vulnerable during this time, God has called me to do so.

I would love to tell you that this process has been all smiles and warm fuzzes, but it hasn't. Most people have that idea of adoption. That it is somehow an "easier" way to bring a child in your family, but it is not. In the same way that God chooses the specific child that a couple will bring into their family through childbirth, He chooses the children He has planned for adoptive families. Our adoption worker told us yesterday that being matched with your child is a miracle and I believe it is just as much a miracle as childbirth. Our adoption ministers at church say, "some babies grow in their mommy's tummy, and other babies grow in their mommy's heart." This experience is stretching my heart to be filled by the abundant love I will have for my child(ren). But there are growing pains, that's for sure.

During this time we have been impacted by the stories of 6 children. Though we are unsure which if any of the 6 will be placed in our home, they will forever be in our hearts! If you remember, shortly after we were verified we were asked to consider taking 2 children at once to accommodate the need to place siblings together. The specific children we were presented with are brothers. The youngest is an almost 4 year old and the oldest brother is a recent 6. We were immediately drawn to their stories and prayed and planned for if/how we could meet their needs. We hadn't planned for day care so we had to figure out cost and availability. Ultimately we decided to submit for the boys. A few days later we were told that the boys also have 2 sisters that they are not currently placed with and CPS wants to try to find a home for all 4 to be together, possibly with a relative. We experienced our first disappointment, but these brothers have continued to be brought to our hearts and are in our prayers daily.

A couple of weeks went by and we were getting ready for vacation when we were approached about a 2 year old boy. We decided to have our home study submitted for consideration for him. We haven't heard about his status, but if we had been chosen for the RAZ we would probably know by now. The Monday after we returned from vacation, we were approached about a 5 year old boy. We submitted for him as well. Again, we haven't heard anything and we probably would have if we were supposed to.

While we were waiting to hear about the status of the 2 year old and 5 year, we were asked about another set of brothers. The phone call came the very next day after we had submitted for the 5 year old. This set of brothers consists of an 8 year old and 5 year old that we heard about 5 days before they had to be moved from their current foster home. We had to make a quick decision, so we went to work planning/preparing for their arrival including considering how to transfer their school records. We learned about them on a Wednesday and we had planned for them to move in on the following Saturday. It was a whirlwind! I asked my boss about taking time off next week to help them transition and she discussed them having a big kid shower for me when they came and we knew all their sizes and preferences. Well, because

these children's parental rights are terminated but they are waiting for the adoption prep unit at CPS to complete the formal process for finding their permanent home, this worker wanted to read our home study before deciding they would move to our home. Thursday afternoon, we were shocked when we were told by our agency, that the CPS worker did not want the boys placed with us because we are Caucasian and the boys are African American. This is the only reason she gave and she even went so far as to say that if an African American foster to adopt family couldn't be found by the deadline for the move (in two days) to move the children to an African American foster home. She made the decision that she'd rather these children be moved twice in a short period of time, then they live with us because we are Caucasian. I was angry for us, but more importantly for the boys. I spent the next several days grieving, crying at the drop of a hat and all around not functioning. I had to tell my boss and the family members we had told that they weren't coming. I could write a whole blog entry about what I think about this subject, but I will leave you this link to review the facts about the number of African American children in foster care and their increased waiting time for an adoptive family. However we are grateful for God's provision in our lives. Our agency is Christian and the adoption matching specialist we've been working with is a man of God (that happens to be African American). He told us that "some people have agendas, but God has a plan." We are holding firm to this promise in these days of uncertainty.

By Tuesday of this week, I was starting to be able to function again, resting in a bit more peace. Another curve ball came the very next afternoon. I was driving back to the office from a visit when Jeff called me and said in a very serious tone, "do you have a few minutes to talk?" I pulled into the McDonald's parking lot to hear the bombshell. A week since we had first heard about the 2nd set of brothers, we were approached again about the first set. I won't share much about how this is manifesting itself, but we feel God's hand all over it! We are cautiously hopeful that we will be closer to growing our family in the coming weeks! Please continue to keep us and the children we've mentioned in your prayers!

Colorado, the Finale

We stayed at The Westin Riverfront Mountain Villas in Avon, CO. for three nights. It was a fabulous find of Jeff's on Hotwire.com. We had a condo with a kitchen so we saved money on meals and the room was a fourth of its original price!

The condo was very spacious with a dining table, sitting area and...

kitchen. We made our breakfast and lunches here and then ate out for dinner.

This is where we enjoyed breakfast each morning, enjoying the awesome view and cool weather from our balcony! I always brought out my rose from the waiter at The Blue Spruce Inn to add to the ambiance.

On Wednesday of our trip we spent the day in the Beaver Creek Resort looking at the shops. Here is a picture of the shops and the outdoor ice rink.

We especially loved looking in all the galleries at some of the $250,000 pieces of art! We're not quite sure who can actually afford to buy the art, but Jeff says most of it has been there every time he's come to visit each year, so maybe no one can!

Jeff's favorite is a big statue of a bear and a hunter. We will just have to settle for a picture of it and possibly another trip to visit it in the future!

It was a very relaxing day to say the least. Wednesday night we had a lovely meal at the Avondale Restaurant at our hotel. Jeff had lamb steak and this was our favorite meal of the entire trip! After dinner we sat out on the patio of the restaurant by one of the toasty fire pits.

On Thursday we woke up early and Jeff said "Let's take a short ride over to Aspen and come back the back way to see Independence pass and the one lane roads with big drop offs on the side of the road." It ended up taking five hours but the drive was well worth it. We saw some fantastic Aspen trees and beautiful mountain views.

Later that evening we returned to Vail and rode the Vista Bahn Gondola up to the top of the mountain.

Our self-portrait from inside the gondola.

At the top we saw the Mount of the Holy Cross, which is a huge crevice in the mountain that fills with snow and looks like a cross. Due to it being late in the summer most of the snow had melted and the cross was hard to see, but the views were incredible, and brought back many fond memories for Jeff.

Thursday night after the gondola ride, we happened upon a jazz concert occurring in the square of the shops. This added to our romantic evening as pleasant pre-dinner entertainment. We ate at the Lord Gore at Manor Vail - one of Jeff's favorite restaurants in Vail. Jeff had a wonderful prepared meal of salmon, and I had scrumptious duck.

On Friday morning, we visited Vail Village to look at the shops and had another yummy pizza lunch before heading back to Denver to spend the rest of our trip with Lisa and Jamie.

Here is a picture of another one of Jeff's favorite statues with some aspen trees.

We also captured a picture of Gore Creek that runs through Vail, CO.

On Friday night we went to a Colorado Rockies baseball game with Jeff's sister Lisa. The views were fantastic. The only downer was the Colorado Rockies lost against the San Francisco Giants 6-3. Check out the gorgeous sun set over the Rocky Mountains in the background!

On Saturday we spent the last day of our trip sleeping in and relaxing at Lisa and Jamie's house. We had lunch and dessert at a local fast food favorite, Good Times. They had awesome burgers, french fries with "wild sauce" dipping sauce, and frozen custard. Of course we had to try all three! We got one last picture with Lisa before our drive to the airport to catch our plane back to Houston. Thanks guys for all your hospitality and we'll see you in November!

It was a wonderful vacation that will not be forgotten. We were so excited to be back in town and visit our church home on Sunday morning - it was promotion Sunday so it was a big day in the life of the church. This was our last vacation as just the two of us - how great it was!!! It was the perfect mix of time with family and time just the two of us and offered the relaxation we desperately needed!

Colorado Part 2

Let me just start this entry by apologizing for the delay. I was hoping to have finished all three blog entries I have planned about our trip before now, but am just getting to #2. We've had a roller coaster of emotions this week in regards to the adoption that I will save for another post. We will share it with you though.

On Monday, 8/17 we headed over to Golden and toured the Coors Brewery - the largest single site brewery in the United States. Let's just say that we made the 40 minute tour last 2 hours with all of our excitement and picture taking.

Jeff was trying to make it look like I drank a lot of beer when really I had 1/2 a non-alcoholic beer and 2 diet cokes. Silly guy!

Here Jeff is enjoying his beer sample. Jeff's photo that he used on E-Harmony was taken at the Coors Brewery so we re-created it for posterity's sake.

After the tour we went to lunch in down town Golden.

The restaurant where we had lunch "The Capitol Grill" was the original meeting place of the Colorado legislators. We sat under that first umbrella there on the patio. I had some awesome fish and chips and Jeff had a buffalo burger. My man loves wild game!

We then took the Peak-to-Peak highway from Golden, CO to Estes Park where we would spend the night. We enjoyed many fantastic mountain views along the way.

After arriving in Estes Park, Colorado we looked at the shops and enjoyed the views. Here's a photo of the Downtown Waterwheel.

We had dinner at the Historic "Stanley Hotel" - the supposedly haunted hotel that inspired "The Shining". Stephen King stayed in this hotel in a room overlooking the mountains while writing the book. It opened in 1909, making this the 100 year anniversary of the hotel.

We had an awesome dinner at the Stanley Hotel. I ate meatloaf made out of elk, bison, and pork. I was so proud of myself for trying new foods and it was actually very tasty! Jeff had a scrumptious Buffalo Steak. Here we are with dessert.

On Tuesday, 8/18 we headed to Rocky Mountain National Park and then to our new hotel for the next couple of days in Beaver Creek. We headed into the park for a great day of enjoying nature and a ton of wild animals! It was Jeff's 5th trip to the park, but my first.

A picture of us in the National Park about to gain altitude majorly.

This is either a ground squirrel or a chipmunk. We saw both but for us it was sometimes hard to tell the difference. A chipmunk is a little smaller than a ground squirrel. The animals are so used to people, they just walk right up to you. We were starting to think this was the biggest animal we'd see all day, but boy were we wrong!

See how much closer we are getting to the mountains! We went all the way to the top of most of them on some very winding and sometimes scary roads!

Scenic View- check out the bird enjoying the view too from his little perch (bottom center of the photo)!

Our first elk sighting - a herd near the top of the Rockies. We saw at least 100 or more elk on this day and several herds along the road. We drove along the "Trail Ridge Road" - the highest continuous paved highway in the United States, which takes you up higher than 12,000 feet in elevation.

It was snowing at the "Top of the Rockies" like real snow, not Texas snow! Giant flakes!

Here we are freezing at the top of the mountain, while all our friends in Houston are sweating!

Jeff captured this great shot of a marmot! He practically walked up to us and said "cheese"!

Here is a closer picture of one of the elk herds we saw.

This giant elk was so close he stopped traffic! He and his friend got right out in the road with NO fear!

We crossed the Continental Divide several times on this trip, but here's the picture we got of us the first time we crossed it. It was taken by a nice group of motor cyclist.

We had dinner at the Blue Spruce Inn in Historic Frisco, CO after a long day at the park. Jeff had visited this restaurant on a previous trip, and thought it would be nice to go back to. At the end of the meal the waiter gave me a wonderful rose that we used to decorate our room for the next three nights in Avon, CO. Avon, CO is close to the "Beaver Creek Resort" and to the city of Vail, CO.

Tuesday night we checked into our home for the next three days - The Westin Riverfront Mountain Villas in Avon, CO. WOW - it was time for nap.

Colorado Part 1

Yesterday in church, our pastor started a new sermon series on Genesis. I have always loved the Creation story, but it seemed even more inspiring after having spent a week enjoying some of God's most beautiful creation! We just came back from Colorado on Saturday and we both were so sad to go back to work today! We had a wonderful time! The weather was great, such a nice reprieve from our Houston heat and we really enjoyed our time away! Our week was jam packed so I'm going to break it up into parts.

We left Houston on Saturday, 8/15. We had a 7:30 AM flight so we got up extra early and got to the airport at 6:30 AM. This should have been plenty of time, but let's just say we ran into some turbulence at the airport. Apparently they decided to do construction and so the E terminal was the only terminal that was being used for check in. This wasn't the biggest problem though. There were about 20 families that over packed and their bags were over the 50 lbs weight limit per bag. Instead of making them pay or go to the end of the line, the airport staff stood there for 15 minutes watching the families re-pack their belongings! Seriously, we stood waiting to weigh our bags while a woman unpacked all her designer jeans with her bag sitting on the scale! Needless to say we missed our flight and caught the next one at 9 am. I was a little impatient that early in the morning, but recovered after we got some breakfast. Here I am with the plane we actually took in the background.

Thankfully we had time to tell Jeff's sister, Lisa so she didn't have to wait for us at the Denver airport due to our delay. She and Jamie picked us up and we took off for a full day of exploring. They took us to Boulder, CO to look at the shops and have lunch. Jeff had to have a picture with this guy. The man loves animal statues and figurines....don't ask me why!
We had lunch at Old Chicago. I didn't know pizza was so popular in Colorado, but we ate pizza twice on this trip and it was very tasty!
Jeff also took the edge off with a flight of beer with his lunch.
Me, I prefer to eat my calories and was tickled when we saw this place! Actually we saw a girl down the street from the bakery with a sign that said "cupcakes" and a giant arrow pointing to it. I'd love that job! They wouldn't even have to pay me!
I'd take these as my salary and be pleased as punch!
After shopping, lunch, and dessert, we went to Jamie and Lisa's for a rest before going to the Green Day concert. My rock star hubby got us the hook up and we hung out with all the hard core fans. I've never been to a concert with a mosh pit, but it sure makes things more exciting! We observed it all from a loftier spot and that was just great with me!

On Sunday, Jamie and Lisa showed us their stomping ground, Denver. Lisa works in Denver, but they actually live in a nearby suburb. It is a beautiful city with a lot to see and do.

We had lunch at the Rock Bottom Brewery. They brew specialty beers and also have great food!

After lunch we went to the aquarium. My sister had told me about it and recommended we go so I was thrilled when Lisa suggested it. This is one of the places I took HUNDREDS of pictures, but I've chosen just a few to give you an idea. If you ever have a chance to go see it yourself, definitely go! It is by the same management of the Houston aquarium, but it is WAY better! No offense, H-Town!

There were a lot of opportunities to see sharks, but this is the best picture I could get. They're pretty fast!

What a cute little pot bellied sea horse!
There were also a lot of exhibits with sting rays. This picture is of a smaller one in a tank, but we got to pet larger ones in a pool.
The tiger exhibit was also really cool and a definite crowd pleaser! It took several shots before I got a good picture, but here is one of all three cats. One is grooming the other, while the third takes a nap!

Here's a good close up! I promise I didn't get in the cage, it just looks like I was that close! They sure are beautiful animals!

This is a lion fish. They always remind me of my Aunt Ann because she had some in a salt water tank at her house. I remember being amazed by them as a kid!
I also tried really hard to get a good picture of all the large sea turtles. They just floated through the water and I loved watching them swim!
I thought this picture of a jellyfish was cool, though they're not my favorite. The colors are pretty though!
Stay tuned for the next installment where Jeff and I explore a TON of land animals!