Journey Journal

I wanted to blog this last night, but didn't have a chance.  Maybe I should have done it when I woke up at 3:45 AM and couldn't go back to sleep, but alas better late than never!  I have posted several updates on the adoption process, but not as much about my feelings during this process.  I don't really know why I haven't shared them other than I don't think I really understood some of them until recently.  I decided I want to do some more in depth documentation since this blog is the longest running "journal" I've kept in my life!  I hear right brained people tend to be great starters of things, but not as good at following through.   Anyway....

I have had a flood of weird contradicting emotions over the last few weeks.  There has been a lot going on as you can tell from my posts lately, but one thing is constantly on my mind, or should I say one person.  He's faceless, nameless, but so very real to my heart.  I've busied myself with everything I can possibly "do" to prepare for him, but so much is out of my control.  I am very grateful though that God is using this time to endear me to my child, His child.   He keeps drawing me to this scripture, which I pray often for our little man:

Isaiah 43:1

But now, this is what the LORD says— ...
       "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 
       I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

God reminds me that our child is first and foremost His child and He has chosen us to have the privilege of helping him to understand and accept his ultimate worth as a chosen child of God.  It is my prayer that as our child begins to understand his adoption into our family, we will be able to point him to the ultimate adoption we have all experienced through the sacrifice of Christ.  The aforementioned scripture in a simpler form may end up on our child's bedroom wall.  I want him to know from the beginning when he is confused by the numerous people who have been "parents" in his life that He is Christ's kid.  I'm sorry if my thoughts are scrambled, but that is how it has been lately.   

Last week it struck me on my way home from work, just like a lightening bolt - intense sadness, perhaps grief.  I cried and cried, but I didn't know why.  I cried for the fact that we would not have a baby dedication for our child, or any baby pictures, nor experience many of the firsts that come in the toddler stage.  I became fearful that my tears meant this was not what we are supposed to do.  It wasn't until a day or two later that I began to understand.  I was grieving for the first few years of our child's life that we were not able to share with him.  I spoke to my friend who works with post adoption families and she said it was okay.  In fact she said that the kids grieve the years they have not shared with their adoptive families as well.  It was then I realized it was another way in which God is growing me and preparing me for being the momma to such a precious boy who has endured so many difficult circumstances.

We're here

Sorry it has been so long since we posted. I'm sure our 2 faithful readers were disappointed! Anyway, things are moving right along for us. This week is my 4th week at my new job at UCP. So far I really like it/ love it! I have been training this week and working with my supervisor to define my new role. I am the first behavioral therapist they have had. Though they are excited to have me, they don't seem quite sure how to utilize me yet. In the mean time I am doing a lot of observation and some consultation. I am also still taking my alternative teaching classes one evening a week and on Saturdays through the end of May.
Jeff started working extra for the quarter about a week ago so he too is staying busy. He has been trying to leave by 9:30 every night so we can see each other at least for half an hour or so. I go to bed early now that I'm up at 5:30 AM.
On the adoption front, we are anxiously awaiting our guy's furniture which should come any day now. We have also completed most of our requirements for the fire inspection and will be done after one more trip to Home Depot. Our application is in, our references are out and soon it will be a waiting game. I get more excited every day to meet him and am praying God will continue to prepare us for our new role as parents!

D-Town Fun!

We went to Dallas last weekend to visit with the Carpenter clan. We needed to get away and will find any excuse to go up there! We are anxiously awaiting this new addition to our drive: We definitely almost got run over while I was trying to get this picture before the sign changed again!
While we were in town we went to take family portraits with this lil' Texas beauty:
Jeff and I struggled, but we did get a couple good shots.  
I was trying to get a good picture for the cover of our family book for the adoption agency.
I captured this photo of Drew as he patiently waited for his family portrait.  What a cutie!
We also went to see the Herwecks while we were in town.  We enjoyed visiting them as well and Caleb is growing up so fast!  All in all it was a fabulous trip that ended with dinner at Jeff's parents on the way home.  Stay tuned for news about how my first week at my new job went!

Ariana arrives!

Thursday my BFF, Jenny and I met up for pedicures and a Sonic. I was worried about her driving around as she was feeling some pain. I literally pictured her pulled over on the side of the road to have the baby. She worked and drove around right up until the last minute. She's so independent!! Anyway, while I was waiting for her to arrive Thursday, I called her every 5 minutes to make sure she was okay. Well, Thursday night after the pedicure and Jenny's drive home, Jenny headed to the hospital! Friday, 4/3/09 at 6:15 am, sweet Ariana was born at 7 lbs. 7 oz!!! Jeff and I went to the hospital to visit Friday afternoon before heading to Dallas for the weekend. Ariana is quite a cutie and has a FULL head of dark hair! "Uncle" Jeff was instantly in love! Of course, "Aunt" Becca couldn't get enough!

Birthday Bonanza

Jeff had a fabulous surprise birthday party Friday night!!  Thanks to all who came and made his birthday so special!! Here's Jeff being serenaded by the Vida Loca staff and presented with some yummy (free) tres leches.  I told Jeff he didn't even smile THAT big in the wedding pictures!! Here's a picture of us with some of the party peeps: Jen and Jeff Spencer and Derek and Roxanne Rochelle.  Jenny, Wendy and Jonathan are not pictured.  Those little stinkers some how escaped my picture happy camera!Jeff is pictured here with the birthday balloons I got him.  I got him some last year and he loves them so that may have to be a tradition.After dinner we came back to our house and Jeff shared this lil' beauty with his friends.  I got Jeff a frozen custard cake from Ritter's.  He's a big fan of their custard with heath bar mixed in so the cake was that flavor.  YUM!  
Saturday night we celebrated just the two of us with dinner at one of our favorite hang outs: Hasta La Pasta.  They set us in the back room where they normally host parties.  It was really pretty and more intimate with fewer tables.  While we were waiting for our food to come, who walks in but, Frank from Trading Spaces.  I began freaking out as quietly and calmly as possible!!!  Of course Jeff had no clue who I was talking about!  I spent the rest of our dinner ease dropping on Frank's conversation with the other couples at he and his wife Judy's table.  I debated about going up to him a little afraid that I would annoy him, but I got the courage to do so at the end of our meal.  I waited for a lull in his conversation and came up with a paper napkin and a pen I got from our waiter.  I said some thing super cheesy like, " I haven't done this since I was 5 at Disney World, but can I have your autograph?!"  Then I preceded to tell him how much my mom and I love him.  He said he's really popular with moms. ;)  He also talked about their friendship with Doug from the show.  I also met his wife Judy and she sweetly commented on how pretty she thinks my name is.  Anyway, I was ecstatic leaving the restaurant!! Here is a pic of my new prized possession! Sunday Jeff's parents came in town to take us to dinner for his birthday and to help us do some home projects. They hung blinds in our little one's room and helped us do several projects to prepare for our fire inspection for the adoption. They are such a blessing because neither Jeff or I is very "handy"! We then all went to eat at the Texas Roadhouse before they headed home. What a wonderful weekend we had!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish my hubby a happy birthday!
Jeff:
I'm so excited to begin this new adventure of parenthood with you! You'll be an amazing daddy! I LOVE YOUS!!
XOXO,
B

Spring has Sprung!

Jeff and I agree that spring is the best season, at least in Houston!!  Even when we were dating Jeff would plan special trips to the azalea trail in town or a car trip to see the blue bonnets.  Lately we've been enjoying our own flowers.  We have three varieties of azaleas in our front yard and they are beautiful and in bloom right now.  The weather is also very pleasant as we anticipate the coming long, hot Houston summer.  We have also been doing some spring cleaning.  We recently had all our carpets cleaned which is very necessary when you have a cat and a dog.   I'm also trying to find my inner organized self to plan how to organize the closets, under the bathroom sinks, and kitchen cabinets/pantry.  Any of my organized friends, or sister ;) want to give me any helpful hints?  Jeff suggested looking at the Container Store and I checked online.  Let's just say that what I saw online was for the fabulously wealthy organized soul, not me unfortunately!